National Post, Page T01

I've never had to diet. Nor do I have the patience to study the lastest research in nutrition and metabolism or ponder what and how much I should or should not be eating. Frankly, I couldn't care less about how fat is broken down.

Yet I've always been intrigued by Dr. Barry Sears' Zone diet, the diet that Demi and Madonna and Ren and Wynona and Julia all swear by. I confess to a niggling urge to approach my friends with a jaunty, "I'm in the Zone now. How 'bout you?"

I've read more and more that people like me - who aren't overweight and don't want to think about what they're eating - are adopting the Zone diet, which, in a nutshell, aims to control insulin production (the key to making your body turn carbohydrates into fat) so you can burn body fat without feeling lethargic and dragged out.

Which is why I decided to sign on to the Zone delivery service now operating in Toronto - the perfect solution for a non-cooking, non-grocery-shopping, non-diet-book-reading person like me who was about to head off to Manhattan where everyone - everyone - is in the Zone.

The service, which popped up in Toronto about two months ago, is called Diet Delivery Canada Inc., founded by Heather and Michael Wilgar, a yonge brother-and-sister team.

"Most of our clients," says Heather, "are corporate women who don't have time to cook, or are already healthy people, like personal trainers," she says. "Neither Mike nor I are overweight. We went on a film set and 60% of the people were on the Zone diet. They basically want it for maintenance."

I signed on to the Wilgars' service for a week. All customers get a consultation before they start, either at their home or office, to list their food preferences. There's even a soy plan for vegetarians and vegans.

I agreed to have three meals a day delivered to my door by 6 a.m. at a cost of $29.99 a day. Here is my diet diary.

Day 1

I wake up early in anticipation of my parcel waiting on my doorstep. Sure enought, a blue vinyl cooler bag, with my name written on top, is waiting for me. I'm actally amazed the food is still there, as, more often then not, my newspaper is stolen.

Today's menu: two berry crepes for breakfast, herbed seafood salad for lunch, chicken zucchini Italiano with onions and mushrooms for dinner. There's a Zone bar for an afternoon snack, and a stuffed tomato for an evening snack. Before even tasting the food, I'm convinced I've never eaten this well in my life.

Day 2

Groggily, I make my way to the front door. The joy of knowing my entire day of food is waiting for me makes me beam. The menu includes a berry omelette for breakfast, oriental chicken with snow peas for lunch, saut饴 scallops with wine flavoured vegetables for dinner. I push the berries aside and eat the egg. I am not a bear, so why so many berries? The oriental chicken with snow pea salad for lunch is good. I can see how people lose weight. There does seem to be a lot of lettuce going on. At our briefing session, Heather had told me I should never go more then five hours between meals. Usually, I eat when I have the time. Now I'm worrying about being home, to be near my meals.

The foods can be microwaved or heated in a conventional oven in less then five minutes. The Wilgars make it simple: the white-bottomed container is for breakfast, black is dinner, and lunch, which is always served cold, is in the clear plastic container.

I microwave the crepes and have a cup of coffee. (Just one cup a day; the rest of the time it's water.) The berry crepes are OK, though the berries are a little tart. It's too much to finish.

By 11 a.m., I'm hungry again. Is it too early to be eating a seafood salad? Nah. I dig in. There are a bunch of baby shrimps over greens. There's dressing in a little container - but only enough to cover the top of the salad. I'm tempted to stick my tongue in the container to extract the last few drops. Still, it's shrimp for lunch and I'm loving it.

Two hours later, I'm hungry. I eat three bites of a Zone bar, which tastes like sandpaper. I heat up my dinner at 5 p.m. because I'm meeting a friend after work at a bar, where I order a vodka tonic.

"I don't think those nuts are on the Zone diet," says my friend as we work our way through our second bowl of free nuts. "But I'm hungry", I moan. "I'm like a frigging senior citizen. I'm eating at 5 p.m."? I head to another party, where I have a couple of glasses of wine. I get home after midnight, look at the stuffed tomato waiting for me for my evening snack, and go straight to bed.

Day 3

Disaster. After I bring my parcel inside and start unpacking my meals, the small container of Thousand Island Dressing for my lunch salad falls to the floor. After three days of eating lettuce and beans for lunch, you realize how important dressing is. And now the tiny amount of dressing is being licked up by my dog.

But, there's hope. Tonight, I am going to a birthday party for a good friend, who has baked a double-layer chocolate cake. As I eat my mushroom tenderloin with artichoke hearts for dinner, I think, "Chocolate cake is nigh."

I'll start fresh tomorrow. The evening snack of stuffed melon remains untouched.

Day 4

People are fascinated with my Zone delivery tales. We have an argument whether the $29.99 a day is a lot or a little for such a service. "Oh, it's a little," I say, "if you eat out like every meal like I do. I think I'm saving money, actually."

I've started to tell Zone delivery tales like, "The other day I was looking forward to an evening snack billed as 'fruits and nuts.' Turned out it was just 12 grapes and three almonds." Lunch was herbed scallops with vegetables, and dinner was stir-fry with mushroom sauce. I've given up on Zone bars, and have started eating my salads for dinner and my dinner for lunch. All the meals are interchangeable.

Day 5

My stomach feels flatter. Heather told me that women usually lose one or two pounds a week, while men lose up to three pounds a week. Her mother, her first customer, lost 20 pounds in two months.

Breakfast today is fruity nut cottage cheese with raspberry sauce, lunch is chicken with ginger vegetables and dinner is country-style turkey with green beans. (There are 21 different days, so you won't get bored.) I know longer feel lethargic. Even the arthritis in my hands is better. I call Heather to tell her I don't eat pork, which is on the following day's menu and I get a soy substitute the next day. It's not bad at all.

This has been a good five days, I decide. I'm not bloated, my pants aren't tight. And I didn't worry about where my next meal was coming from.

In any case, I signed up for one more week. How can I turn back now?

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